Almost a month!

Well its been almost a month since my final fill (and my last post)! So where am I at now... Well, I've got approximately 5 months until surgery number 2, I'm having zero pain, no issues, and really not thinking about any of this much at all.

We have been super busy lately with kid stuff, birthday parties, wedding stuff (sister in law is getting married and both kids are in the wedding), getting ready for winter, painting the living/dining/kitchen... just busy! Which is good at the moment as winter is approaching and things will calm down as we retreat into the warmth of the house and avoid the bitter cold.

I can pretty much do anything now. My range of motion is basically fully back minus the ability to hang from my arms like on monkey bars or anything... not that I have a big need to be doing that but attempted a few times at the park and its so not happening. Otherwise, life is good.

It does all seem a little surreal. Three surgeries on one day which took a bunch of my insides out... After thinking about all of the surgeries that I have had in my life, it all just seems normal to me. A weird surreal normal. I've had near half my pelvic bone taken out and donor bone put in, a chunk taken out of my left lung, a revision to the donor bone graft, half my colon removed, numerous central lines placed and taken out, numerous bone marrow biopsies, and now my ovaries, tubes, uterus, and mastectomy with expanders....And I'm sure I am missing some other random surgery. For me, missing parts is just part of life! So far I really haven't missed anything that I am missing. Life is far to important than to waste time worrying about losing parts and instead focus on staying healthy, living life, enjoying every day, loving my kids and cherishing the moments that matter.

And so I will be enjoying the winter months, I can't complain so far we haven't had gigantor snow storm yet so already winter is off to a good start! Before I know it, spring will be here and I will be preparing for my next surgery which will be nice to put this chapter behind me and move on... healthier.. happier... and not worried about when cancer may occure but instead focused on the future, the kids, and living life.

Final Fill!

I had my FINAL fill today!!! WOoo hooo!!!!

50 more on the left and only 20 on the right to even it all out! So now at 385/325 which is even because of my lovely deformed chest cavity!

So plan now... do nothing! I'll call back in 3 months to schedule a surgical date for 3 months after that! So hoping end of April beginning of Mayish! Which will leave plenty of my summer to be enjoyed!

Its kind of crazy to think how well the fills went give I got off to such a rough start. Amazing really. So now I have finished another HUGE milestone, a big step in this journey. The next surgery should be much easier since everything will be stretched and is basically just a switch out for real implants. That and the fact that I am only having one surgery instead of three at once!

I am fairly sore tonight and am assuming tomorrow won't be the most comfortable but I am done!

I am guessing the blog may be a bit quiet for a while which is a good thing! I'll pop in once in a while but hopefully there is nothing to report!

Thank you all for the continued support!

"I check out the boobies"

Apparently some small people in my life are noticing my ever growing chest! The other night my son (2) was sitting on my lap, touched my boob and said "iPod"... um no (1- I have no iPod and 2- if I did that wouldnt be it!)... So I told him it was my boob to which he replied, "um, I check out the boobies?"...um no... it was hysterical and due to our reaction he happily said it numerous more times with a big smile on his face. Then last night he climbed up on my lap, put his hand on my chest, smiled and said, I check out the boobies. Nice kid huh! So needless to say my charming little 2 year old son thinks he is a very funny little boy!

I saw plastics today (YAY) after having a 3 week break due to my surgeon being out of town and the nurse wanting me to have him see my progress before deciding on a final volume. So my real volume when my real implants are in will be somewhere between the last two fills. Starting with this fill everything is over fill. So I got 60 on the left side (smaller side from my bent ribcage) and 40 on the right which brings my grand totals to 335/305. So I will have one more fill and hopefully do another 50/40 which should even the last little bit out and get me big enough to stretch the skin enough for the real implants.

I was able to nail down a little more for a surgical time frame. If I get the next fill by the end of the month then surgery would be Aprilish. He's unsure if we will do hyperbaric before, after, both, or neither... he seems to think that my skin is much better now and that with the technique he is going to use that I may not need it as long as I eat a ton of meat protein before then! So we'll see. He thinks that it will just be day surgery as well!

So we'll see how I feel tomorrow and if I want to do a fill next week or the week after. I am pretty sore from this one so may wait a little longer than a week but we'll see.

Its nice to have at least a sort of tentative plan for when things will happen so I can start planning my life and not live in limbo land.

So once again I move forward and feel really good about this whole decision and am SO glad that I was given the gift of a choice.

Uppitty up up!

Another fill down! Tuesday I had another fill and had 50 put in the left smaller side and 40 put in the right side. I would have done 50 but the skin looked tight and they don't want to over do it. Plus at some point they need to start evening them out!

So the plan is to see the Doc in 3 weeks (he's out of town) and then decide how many more fills and what amount they want my to be at as my overfill. Initially it was 300 but it may be a bit more now.

This fill was the first one where I could really feel the expansion happening. Amazingly I was only a little sore that night and the next morning and am already back to feeling fine and the skin is all stretched nicely.

It is odd how much better I feel having real boobs! I've always been pretty flat and its really never bothered me. I've never really thought much of it. I guess surviving childhood bone cancer puts little things into perspective and it never really bothered me. But now having them, its kind of nice! I can wear shirts I couldn't before. I look normal in a swimsuit. I feel more girly. I was much more modest prior to having any boobs and now I would show just about anyone! They are great! I guess as long as I am going through all of this a little perk (no pun intended) is a good thing!

So I go back October 12th to come up with a plan!

Hmmm

OK so fill yesterday went fine but I could feel some more stretching than I did the previous fills... Well, this morning I was SORE! Super sore but it only lasted for an hour then after carrying JT around for a bit everything loosened up and the pain when away. Still can feel tightness but no pain.

I was a little worried when I woke up because it was so sore and I hadn't really had any soreness with the fills, but no worries, keep truckin forward!

Final Product!

I had another fill today, had 50 more put in. I am at 225 which will be the final product when I am done with my next surgery! So they will over fill by 100... I know right! Yikes! So I will have 2-3 more fills depending if they even them out or if he thinks that he can just even them out when I have the next surgery. So 2-3 more fills, then wait 6-12 months then surgery (and more hyperbaric)! So at least an end is somewhat in sight... or at least a plan for the end!

They look pretty good right now besides being a bit square from the expanders and rock hard! I can feel more tightness with this fill as well and am assuming that the next couple will get tighter as well.

The interesting thing about boobs is that on me with my frame and size 225 is perfect but on someone even a little bigger than me 225 would be nothing! And also depending on the projection and shape of the implant the size can differ significantly. Mine are small and perky where as if they used a bigger expander they would be wider and flatter at the same volume.

As someone who was pretty much flat, it's nice to have some boobs!

Oh and a few people were under the impression that the port was outside of the skin and asked why I couldn't just slowly expand at home since I was a nurse. The port is actually under the skin and a needle is used to access the port and inject the saline. So I will not be poking myself at home!

The future is looking brighter every day as I slowly move forward with getting to the end of this journey! So much for a short term blog huh!

175... Moving on up!

Expansion number 3 was on Tuesday! Went just as well as the others. 50 more in bringing me to a total of 175 on each side! They are almost perfect! another 50 and they will be about the size they will be when I am done but we will overfill to about 300 to stretch the skin enough so that when they put the implants in that they sit in a more natural position. This time I was a teeny tiny bit sore the next morning for a couple hours but it went away pretty quick and was more than tolerable, not even tylenol worthy.

At my next fill (hopefully next week), we will most likely start to even things out. Although they have the same amount in them because of my pectus excavatum (bent up rib cage), the left one sits in about an inch further than the right so I will need two different sized implants in the end to make them appear to be the same size.

Do I dare say that the expansion process is going GREAT! And is almost enjoyable! I've never had boobs before and am quite enjoying not being flat! I even wore a cami with the stupid built in shelf bra today which I NEVER would have worn before without also wearing a padded underwire underneath it. It looked great (I had another shirt layered over it as well)! Regardless it is going well and my hope is that it continues to go well!