One more day at work!

Well surgery is coming up pretty quickly!

Tomorrow is my last day at work before surgery. I've got most things wrapped up for now and have a fully packed day of meetings tomorrow which is probably a good thing to keep my mind busy and not focused on everything I'll need to do when I return!

I've got Addy's hair done in a style that will last hopefully 3-3.5 weeks if I can keep her not doing headstands. I did yarn twists this time which seem to get less fuzzy than a regular style and as a bonus she got some beads added at the bottom.

I'll do JTs hair tomorrow or Wednesday night in finger coils which should last 1-2 weeks.

I've got meals frozen.

House is clean...well as clean as its going to get!

Laundry is done. Clothes are folded into outfits in the kids closets to make mornings easier for hubby.

I think we are just about set! I am starting to get a bit nervous! Not really about the exchange part but about the liposuction part. The exchange shouldn't really hurt too much but lipo....eek! Have you seen what they do on TV! It just looks painful.... I'm hoping I am wrong and it will be a breeze!

I've got a fun Addy-Mommy day on Wednesday with a couple things planned but we will mostly go where the wind takes us! I spent some just Tyty and mama time this weekend so both kids should be all loved up! And plus Meena and Papa will be here this weekend so that will be awesome for them (and me too)!

Please keep me (us) in your thoughts an prayers for speeding healing and no hyperbaric!

Non-Boob related post (I know right!)

I've got numerous emails and questions regarding my frozen meals! Mainly how did you spend so little, get 20 meals, and make them so fast!

So here is the short version of how to do this easily, quickly, and cheaply...

1- Plan meals that use similar ingredients this way there is less waste and less time

2- Figure out what is important and what you can give on. For me I still wanted the meals to be healthy but knew that doing everything natural/organic wasn't going to be an option unless I wanted to run all over town to gather ingredients. So I gave in... I got whole wheat pasta but canned sauces, I got tons of fresh fruits and vegis but did use frozen for a couple meals etc.

3- Have a well laid out plan prior to shopping. I dont follow recipes

but I did scour pintrest for ideas and then made my list of about 10 different meals and doubled everything so that I could make two of each.

4- Buy in bulk. I had to give up my organic nicely grown chickens and get regular chicken breast but then you can buy a huge pack for the same price, I got a giant bag of carrots instead of the smaller ones, big thing of sauce instead of small ones etc.

Then when I was ready to cook, I ensured that I had

everything easily accessible.

Step 1- always have a pot of water boiling... I kept making more and more pasta and put it in large bowls, also made the rice. While these things were cooking I was doing lots of prep work. Chicken for numerous recipes was cooking on the George Forman grill, I was chopping ALL the vegis at once and making piles of them on the counter (counter thoroughly cleaned first). I had separate areas for meat vs veggies as to keep everything clean and I washed my hands a lot.

There were 2 meals that were not cooked, Pot Roast (with potatoes, carrots etc) and BBQ Chicken & Veggies were made to be crock pot meals. Everything else is pretty much fully cooked and just needs to either be thrown in the oven to finish heating cooking (lasagna, enchiladas) or can be heated in the microwave or in a skillet (all pasta dishes, fried rice, etc). Oooh and the meatloaf wasn't cooked either.

All of the recipes were packed with veggies to increase the healthiness and to take up space instead of using crap.

I picked the chicken recipes to work on first so as the chicken was cooked I would put together those meals.

A big tip, SKIP CONTAINERS! Use freezer bags for anything that you can. For all of these meals the only ones NOT in freezer bags was the Lasagna, meatloaf, and enchiladas (for obvious reasons). Everything else is in freezer bags. Place the food in the freezer bag, lay the bag on its side, squeeze out excess air and seal. Then flatten the food into the bag and stick it on a cookie sheet in the freezer. Then the next day you will have a flat bag o'food that can easily be stacked or lined up in the freezer and take up less room. As long as the air is mostly out the stuff lasts a long time in the freezer bags. I always clearly label

everything with a permanent marker as well (name and date) so that I know what everything is!

So there you go... a bunch of rambling that hopefully answered your questions (sorry if it doesn't make sense, I got a impromptu Skype call from my sister in the middle of it so lost my train of thought an hour later when I got back to this!)

Check, Check, Check!

Remember this....Well I'm making progress!

To do before surgery list:

• Make a bunch of meals to freeze: I made 20 tonight! 20 meals that will feed our family of 4! All are made healthy (whole wheat pastas, fresh vegi's (lots!), healthy organic or natural sauces, low fat meats) and it only took about 4 hours and about 100$.

• 3 spicy pasta
• 2 lasagna
• 3 goulash
• 2 meatloaf
• 2 chicken alfredo
• 2 pot roast
• 2 BBQ chicken n vegis
• 2 chicken enchilada meals
• 2 chicken fried rice

• Go through the kids closets (get out summery clothes, put outfits together so hubby doesn't have to)
• Get stuff together for garage sale (which also means cleaning out storage bins/piles/areas
• Get stuff wrapped up and delegated at work
• Go through living room toys and demote some to the basement or Meena's house
• Get kitchen counter organized and bills paid (our kitchen counter is a mountain of disaster!) CHECK! I got an organizing system in place and its lasted a few days and the counter is still clean so hopefully we can keep it going at least through surgery!
• Go through my closet and find all things comfy for after surgery CHECK! All things comfy are folded and put away but now as I type this I realize I should pull them down so that I dont have to reach for them... add that back to the list!
• Download the trial version of Adobe Lightroom (so I can have some fun while being laid up!)
• Laundry will need to be caught up, rooms cleaned, calendar of activities updated
• And plan a special Addy-Mommy day for the day before surgery! IN THE WORKS!

So I am making progress! This weekend will be full of fun and then next weekend will be crunch time! Only 11 days left!

More Questions!

Just two weeks left and I've been getting a lot of the same questions so I thought I'd answer them all here (you know in case you were wondering!)....

So what size will you really be? Most likely I'll be a Full C! Possibly a small D depending on how they sit, what bra you buy etc. BUT they won't really look that big. Because my rib cage is all bent up and more of a square shape instead of an oval, having a C will balance out the bent-up-ness of my ribcage. Before my PBM my boobs didn't really stick out much further than my bent ribs so now they will!

Recovery time? This is kind of up in the air. Initially they said 1-2 weeks depending on narcotic usage but at my appointment they said restrictions for 2-4 weeks. So if all goes well and I dont need hyperbaric I'm hoping to be back at work in two weeks but if I need hyperbaric or have any issues then it will be toward the 4 week mark. Last time I went back to work way too early so this time I am going to be much more cautious and make sure I am actually ready to go back to work. The bonus of my job is that if I need to I can stay in my office and just work in there and not have to go out to my areas etc. and have the flexiblity that if I come back and think it is too much I could do half days instead as well.

Are you going to go out and buy a bunch of bras? YES! I'm super excited to be able to wear cute bras. Being a 32 A petite limited me to white, off white, and black so now I'll be able to find cute ones! My plastic surgeon does not put any limits on what types of bras he wants you to wear. Some have restrictions like no underwire or only underwire or front closure or sports bra or no sports bra, well mine has great success regardless of what bra so no restrictions there. I will however wait a little bit after surgery before going shopping due to swelling, letting the implants settle into their spot, etc. But then there is a shopping trip in my future. My coworkers even got me a Victoria Secret gift card after my last surgery so that I could have fun after this one!

Do your kids know what you are having done? Not really. Addy is 4 and JT is almost 3 so they are too young to really discuss everything. Addy is very bright and is worried about me having surgery because she doesn't want me to go away again and she wants to be able to do fun stuff this summer. She obviously remembers that last summer sucked! So what she knows right now is that mommy is having surgery again but that it will be much better and faster this time, mommy wont be going away, and she'll be able to do fun stuff. I've got a friend who will take her for ice cream or something the week after surgery, my parents will be in town to help for the weekend so hopefully its nice enough to walk to the park etc. As far as what is being done, we haven't talked about that. Last time she was able to see my drains and see my abdominal incisions where the laproscopic instruments were for the hysterectomy. Last summer she was obsessed with boobies so I didn't want to discuss that half of it with her much. We'll see how it goes this time and what questions she asks. I want to be honest and this time it should be easier since she is a little older and not talking about boobs every day! Eventually when it is age appropriate they will know my whole story. Lucky for them since they don't share my gene pool so this won't be an issue for them (man do I feel blessed about that!).

Will they look real? YES! They will, minus the scar directly above the nipple which no one will see anyway. The expanders are rock hard (literally) and do not move or feel real. The new ones will be silicone gel so they will feel squishy and move much more naturally. They are also doing the fat grafting so that they will look more normal at the top and not be flat then giant implant but will have a gradual slope like they should.

Well that's all for now! Feel free to ask me any questions (I'm obviously not shy!)!

18 days

18 days before the big day and I have so much to do and so little motivation to do it!

To do before surgery list:

• Make a bunch of meals to freeze
• Go through the kids closets (get out summery clothes, put outfits together so hubby doesn't have to)
• Get stuff together for garage sale (which also means cleaning out storage bins/piles/areas
• Get stuff wrapped up and delegated at work
• Go through living room toys and demote some to the basement or Meena's house
• Get kitchen counter organized and bills paid (our kitchen counter is a mountain of disaster!)
• Go through my closet and find all things comfy for after surgery
• Download the trial version of Adobe Lightroom (so I can have some fun while being laid up!)
• Laundry will need to be caught up, rooms cleaned, calendar of activities updated
• And plan a special Addy-Mommy day for the day before surgery!

All of this probably means I should get up and go do something!

A lot of people have asked how I feel about having surgery again... Well I knew going into it that I would need a second surgery. I am not a fan of anesthesia and the whole life in someone elses hand thing (I kinda like to be in control:) and the risk of having healing issues again and needing hyperbaric isn't a thrilling thought, but it needs to be done.

Once this is complete I will be able to move on with my life, live my life, and enjoy it. The reason for doing all of this surgery very much outweighs all the pain, incisional healing issues, lost work time, lost family time. The reason for doing the surgeries was to insanely decrease my risk of ovarian, breast, uterine, and cervical cancer. Four less things to worry about and having already been through cancer treatment more than once, it was a no brainer. There was no second guessing this decision. No wondering why me. No decision to be made. Breast cancer risk >108% left the choice of screening and hoping to catch it early or surgery.

And now the end is in sight. I have the ability to rejoin my family as a happy HEALTHY mom who now has the opportunity to live, to be a part of my kids lives, their futures, their dreams.

And as a bonus, I get to be the mom with nice new boobs. You can all be jealous now:)

A little lipo on the side...

Well I had the much anticipated Plastic Surgery Pre-Surgical appointment today! WOO Hoo! One big step toward being done!

So the final verdict.... Surgery April 19th!

After reviewing my current state, he decided that the right side had settled so the left side was bigger (remember the left side was overfilled more due to my crumpled rib cage). So unfortunately I had to get POKED today to take 35 cc's out of the left expander. And can I just say that now that my feeling is back it hurt! It's a good thing when I did the expansion that I didn't have much feeling or I never would have gotten to this size! So after removing some fluid we now have a plan! (And for those of you who haven't figured me out yet, I'm a planner and like to know what is going on!)

So.... Drum roll please...

The BIG Plan:

• Use a 1-2 inch incision (on the current incision lines) to take out the expanders and replace them with silicone gel implants.
• The gel implants will be 275-300cc's (based on the size of the right one, the left one will be a bigger implant to match the size and fill the crumpled rib cage issue) {I'm at 325 on the right now so they will be a pretty comparable size but will be more natural looking and soft, unlike the rock hard expanders}.
• Use fat grafting to fill in the gap above the implant on the left (maybe the right depending how it sits). The right one right now looks fine because I have a normal muscle on that side, the left side is basically flat on top and then the defined expander (not a nice normal slope). Ummm fat grafting? what? I don't exactly have a lot of options for fat collection! So they basically are going to do liposuction on my "flank" (or lower back, you know the back of the muffin top! except that I dont have a muffin top!). And then take that fat and inject it to fill the gap. He did give me the option to do the exchange and do the fat grafting later but I'd rather just do it all at once which is what he recommended as well.
• Hyperbaric...still up in the air. We'll wait until surgery to decide and will see how everything looks during surgery and the morning after and then will do hyperbaric if anything looks iffy at all to prevent issues from occuring.
• Surgery will be day surgery with the possibility of staying overnight if he thinks hyperbaric is needed right away otherwise I'll go home and go back the next morning.

So there it is! One month and I'll be hopefully done with most of this!

So now the frenzy begins... I'll be cleaning, organizing, and cooking up a storm to freeze a ton of meals again. That made life so much easier last time. I'll be figuring out Jareds schedule and when we may need a babysitter to help. And getting things at work in order for my coworkers.

This surgery should be much easier. Liposuction is painful and most likely will hurt more than the rest of the surgery so I'm not looking forward to that. I'll be taking 2-4 weeks off work depending how it goes.

On a heartbreaking note, AJ was sitting in the room while I was talking to Jared and she asked why someone would help with the kids and I had told her that I was having surgery and she was near tears and said she doesn't want me to go away again and doesn't want to not be able to do fun stuff since I will hurt... poor thing. We talked about how this would be different than last time and that we would still have the whole summer to do fun things. Who knew a 4 year old would process, remember, and be so worried. So we are working through that. I am going to take the day off before surgery to go do a mommy Addy day like I did last time. She seemed pleased with that.

And so let the frenzi begin!

Still waiting!

Not much going on here! I'm anxiously awaiting my appointment next week with Plastics! Hopefully I'll leave there with a plan and some answers!