Boo Hoo!

Nothing new to report here!

My incision looks like it may be starting to heal so that is good. The one edge of it is closing together and the other side isn't draining as much. I'm really not having any pain at all unless I switch or twist weird or if I lift one of the kids and hold them for too long. I feel fairly normal...until...

My friend and I had a brilliant idea today to take the two kiddos to the beach. I knew that JT (2y/o) would just putter around the edge of the water and play in the sand and AJ (3.5y/o) would want to swim. My friend wanted to take her swimming so I knew it would be fine with me not getting in the water. So I got everything together, got the kids ready, and then was going to go change my clothes.... I knew I wouldn't be wearing a swimsuit but wanted to have shorts and a tank on so that I wasn't too hot.... So I put on a tank and you could see every dent in my left expander. I'm not a self conscious person but I knew I couldn't go out like that... so I put a second tank on top thinking that layering may decrease the flatness and make it so it didn't indent.... nope... great. So this was the first time where I wanted to cry about how I looked! Now I was fairly flat prior to surgery but could wear padded bras so at least it looked like I had something but now, not. And my old bras hurt to wear since they aren't the same shape as the expanders. So I plopped on a t-shirt that at least hung flat instead of indenting.

And so we went to the beach and had a blast, spent a few hours there. The kids LOVED it and it was gorgeous weather and warm water! And a big thank you to Miss Lindsy who braved the lake with Miss Addy (who also loved her new floaties)!

So with a new found respect for the expansion process, I am actually looking forward to getting filled! Even just to relieve the concaveness so that I can wear different shirts. Its the little things that you realize things aren't actually going to be normal for a while!

CLEAN!

One of the groups of CNS's that I work with wanted to do something to help so chipped in and got us a housekeeper for 4 hours! Well Molly Maids came today and our house is spotless...at least for the next two hours till the munchkins come home! They even dusted the picture frames! So an amazingly huge thank you to all of you! It was super nice to come home to a clean home. Hubby even mowed the yard today!

Everything else is status quo! Still some burning off and on in the one open incision. I can almost get my arms above my head. My muscle above the expanders is still sore off and on. Sleeping is going better (minus the 2 and 3 year old who are having sleeping issues). AND I worked a full 6 hours today! Planning on 6 hours the next few days and then will reassess. I am taking it slow because I don't want another set back of any kind!

Ouch!

Ok, so I got the OK to do more from plastics and well it hurts!

Moving my arms too high or too far out to the side hurts! I also tried changing JT's diaper today and he is heavy! Picked him up and put him on my hip and could feel it all day in my chest. The muscle hurts and it pulls in the center by my sternum too. The open area on the one incision is burning which is annoying but hopefully that means it is healing!

So gotta remember to take it slow and just because I have the OK to do more doesn't necessarily mean that I should!

It's ALIVE!

OK, most of you probably don't want to read about nipples and incisions so if you don't, click out now!

Went to see plastics today and he peeled off my scabs and eschar (dead areas) and well the right one that had a lot of issues, the nipple is alive! Instead of completely drying out and falling off, it healed from the inside out! So what does this mean? They hyperbaric worked. My body is finally starting to heal and hopefully collateral vessels have been formed to help continue to keep my radiated skin healthy.

It didn't hurt when he peeled everything off but I have a lot of procedural anxiety but it went well anyway!

So next step is to wait a month for healing to continue (there is now open areas where some of the incision scab was peeled off). Then next time we will most likely do my first fill. Which leaves me with mixed feelings...1- its great to be making progress and finally know that hyperbaric helped, 2-filling is no fun and can cause a lot of pain and discomfort, 3- this journey is going to be way longer than I was hoping. I had hoped this would be a short term blog but, guess not! 4- excited to be moving forward yet again!

So I now have no appointments for a whole month! WOO HOO!

He also said that I could lift again! Which means I can start working on being able to hold my kids! Although I lifted a 24 pack of coke today and found out how weak and deconditioned I really am! I also have no restrictions on movement so I can start stretching and trying to regain my range of motion. So my main restriction is just not swimming/bathing and not getting kicked in the chest (which believe me is a big risk with my two year old)! And he wants to give me a prescription for a giant juicy cheeseburger once a day! He is sure that my increased meat intake is helping with the healing as well. So if anyone is up for lunch, I'll have a burger!

I did it!

I made it through my first day back at work. It was only for 4 hours this morning but I did it! I am now tired, sore, and have a giant headache but I got some work done. I got my emails down to about 150 emails that I need to do something with (projects, etc) or that I need to follow up on. It took 4 hours to go through my whole email pile. How ridiculous is that!

Tomorrow I see plastics and then Friday I will be working another half day!

Sleeping is going ok, only waking up about 2-3 times a night and able to fall asleep a bit faster than before. Still in bed with gigantor pillow which was definitely a good investment!

Incisions are still scabbed over and the one is still oozing some blood off and on so we'll see what plastics says tomorrow. My range of motion is still limited. I'll be checking on that tomorrow as well. I had started doing stretching but not sure if thats a good thing or not so I stopped! My chest is really tight in the center and when I stretch my arms up or back my armpit muscles are super tight and hurt and wont let my arms go in that direction!

Things at home have been going pretty well. I'm able to do more and help out a little bit.

Yesterday a coworker of mine called, one of the groups that I work with chipped in and got me a cleaning service! So they will be coming Tuesday morning for a couple hours! I'm hoping they can clean all three bathrooms and possibly the kitchen floor! I am so blessed to have such wonderful coworkers!

Our frozen food supply is still going strong! Most people made fairly large meals which have been lasting us at least 2 days so we are going through the food much slower than we anticipated which is a good thing. We've also received some gift cards to various restaurants which is nice for a change of pace as well!

Well I will keep plugging along and will keep you all posted!

Back to work and other updates...

The recliner came and I used it the first night and was fairly comfortable except the cats were rubbing on it all night and the room we have it in is filled with toddler toys that apparently randomly go off during the night for a not so restful sleep. So slept in our bed the next night and slept a bit better. So maybe the sleep thing is finally going to start working. We may move the recliner up stairs but haven't decided yet for sure.

I saw the Gyne surgeon today. No big issues. I'll see her again in 6 weeks and then really don't need to follow up with gyne after that unless I have issues! Yay for no more yearly appointments with that department!

I'm going to attempt work this week! My original return date was Thursday but I am going to go in Wednesday and Friday morning for 4 hours to see how it goes. Then we will take it from there to see what to do next week.

I see plastics on Thursday. The left incision is looking pretty good. The scab is peeling off and it looks like a normal incision. The right side looks the same as it has, no better, no worse. I'm assuming it is working on healing from the inside out!

I finally feel like I have made a little more progress. My chest is tight but its not always painful. I'm not constantly thinking about my expanders and the pain. I can do some more normal activities without too many issues. Still can't lift anything over 10 pounds but have found creative ways to get the kids higher... like kneeling on one knee and having them step up on my other one :) My new bra's came in from Penneys so those will be nice for the expansion process.

I've been meeting random friends for lunch off and on during the week (most of which I don't get to see very often due to conflicting schedules) which has been a nice break to the days!

So here we go, moving forward once again! Wish me luck at work on Wednesday! I'm sure the first day will be going through the thousands of work emails!

No news is well.. no news!

Still not sleeping great but seem to be getting a tiny bit better. My parents have an old recliner so they are bringing it down this weekend to see if that helps. When we went up north I slept in a recliner and it helped a little more so we'll try it!

Talked to my boss and work is pretty flexible about me taking more time off if I need it. So trying to figure out what the best plan is. Hoping to do two half days maybe next week to test it out and see if I can do it!

I see the gyne surgeon on Monday and plastics on Thursday next week so we'll see how those go! I'm assuming that everything will just stay status quo since plastics doesn't want to do fills until the incisions are completely healed which I am guessing wont be for a while!

Emotionally I am still a bit up and down. Just sucks that this is going to take so much longer of a process than I anticipated and I will be missing out on parts of my kids lives in the meantime which I know in the long run I'll be here longer without cancer (that's the plan anyway!) so will get those moments back later but its still hard. I miss my friends, they miss theirs, I miss being normal. Ok, well I've never really been normal, but miss being me and just aren't my bubbly outgoing self at the moment!

It will all be worth it once this is all done so I keep on trucking!