Thursday, May 24, 2012

New Bras!

I have always hated bra shopping. I've never been able to find any that fit quite right. Pre-prophlyactic bilateral mastectomy I was very uneven, flat, and just never could find one that was flattering at all. I would try on 20 and find one that was acceptable. So today, now that the swelling is gone and I am at my new size, I decided to brave the mall and hit up Victoria's Secret since I have some gift cards to use!

I lucked out and got the nicest worker! (Insert Relief Here) So I got measured, told her what I was looking for and what my challenge with bras are. My crumpled rib cage is much more square so finding a bra with close enough cups is hard. So I tried on about 12 and found one that was great! So I got a black one and a white one.... pretty awesome I know! Unfortunately they don't stock much in my size so I'll have to go online to order more fun colors! I'm a 32C now! A big improvement from my 32A Petite.

It feels very official to have boughten  real bras that actually fit  (yes I know boughten isn't a real word but I like it!). It feels complete. Like this journey is coming to an end. Like I can move forward. It's interesting, I am 5 weeks out from my exchange surgery and it feels like it was forever ago. Rarely do I even think about my boobs anymore. They seem normal, real, like they have always been there. The incisions are almost closed just a small area on each end still healing. I've got a week left on my cheeseburger diet (Thank God)! And then I can go back to eating real food! I can start lifting things and doing things again in a week so that will be really nice. I will admit I have broken my restrictions a couple of time (eek) to pick a kid up, move a table, carry a box. It's hard when you feel good and don't hurt so that you instinctively do something and then after think, oh crap I shouldn't have done that!

I can't wait until my next appointment! Hopefully they cut me loose and don't need to see me again!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Signing off soon!

Well things are going fantastic! I've got two more weeks on my cheeseburger diet and then I can eat real food again! My incisions are almost healed. My sides are feeling way better, just a little pain when I reach. Work is going well. I get to do 8 hour shifts starting on Friday then in two weeks back to the real world! All of the swelling is gone. No complications to be seen! I've still got a full freezer full of food. Summer is on its way. The kids are doing really good with me not being able to lift (although I have had to cheat a couple times so it will be nice when I am off lifting restrictions).

WOOOOO HOOOOOO! This journey is almost completed!

My next appointment is at the beginning of June and then I will be signing off! There will be no more updates to write, no more complications to keep people posted on, and a healthy long life to live to the fullest!

I will return to my normal (ok as normal as my life can be being me!) life and will return to actually keeping our family blog up to date (hopefully!).

Stay tuned for an update after my next appointment and hopefully some bra shopping soon as well!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Back to work...sort of!

Well I have been back to work now for a week and am doing fairly well. After seeing Employee Health they are letting me go back and do 6 hr shifts for a couple weeks and then 8 hr shifts for a couple weeks then back to my normal 10ish hrs. So at least I am moving forward!

It has been going well. I am a little tired in the evenings but doing good!

On Tuesday I was able to take my abdominal binder off! It was very uncomfortable and restricted my movement some and made it hard to wear real clothes so I was glad to get it off. What I didn't realize is how much it was helping! Now that it is off I am having more pain. Everything isn't being held in tightly so movement hurts some as nothing is stretching quite the same so I'll reach or turn and get a pulling pain. The skin is very sensitive there as the nerves are coming back pretty fast but fabric brushing across my sides hurt. Oh, and I jogged across a street so that I wouldnt have to wait for the next stop walk sign and boy did that hurt. The vibration of my feet hitting the ground made my sides hurt! So note to not run.

We are having fun at home. The kids are super understanding that I cant lift them and are really good helpers! We are still doing our normal things, dance, swimming, parks, nature center, etc. I even took them on a free trolley tour which they had a blast on! We are getting together with friends and doing all things fun!

So at the moment life is pretty normal! 3 more weeks until I am off my lifting restrictions!

I gave hubby my wish list for household chores and he came home and did them all! He wasn't exactly thrilled about it but he did it! So I am sure he will be happy when everything is back to normal!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Bye Bye Binder

Well tomorrow I get to remove my abdominal binder! WOOO HOOO! This thing is so uncomfortable! My bruising from my lipo areas has diminished greatly in the past couple days going from dark purple to almost gone!

So far everything is healing very nicely! No complications for me!

I've been back to work now for a few days (half days) and plan to go back to work for 6-8 hour shifts on Wednesday! It will be nice to be back to a more normal life although being home has been nice. I always seem to envision my surgical leaves being productive. I have no idea why but for some reason I think if I am home that I will get things done. I thought I'd be able to relax on the couch, do some digital scrapbooking and get caught up. Well my goofy eyes got in the way of that! And now when I get home I am too tired to do much. I guess that's why you are on leave from work though to recoup, rest, and heal. Healing is hard work and takes a lot of energy!

I've been eating a lot of protein and have broadened my protein horizon by including other high protein foods like cottage cheese, nuts, etc but am still eating cheeseburgers as well. Five Guys is my favorite at the moment!

The kids are doing great and have been very careful around my sides. The hard part is not being able to pick them up, give them piggy back rides, and play hard with them. At least with this one I can still take them to the park and on little outings! Although I have found that since I can't lift them into a cart that some stores are harder to run to with them!

Well tomorrow I will wake up, take off the binder and be FREE!!!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I made it!

Well I made it through my first day of work! 2 hours of email catching up (and still have 600 left to weed through) and 2 hours of meetings. I wasn't too tired at the end but was ready to go. It will be SO much nicer when I don't have to wear the abdominal binder. Its just uncomfortable and sitting in an office chair just isn't the most comfortable thing in the world. Now if I had a recliner in my office that would be golden! Then I could recline and work on a laptop! I'm guessing my employer won't spring for a lazy boy though! 

The binder comes off next Tuesday so then things will be (hopefully) easier.

I've had this odd dilemma the past couple weeks. These are the things you don't think of when you have surgery. Our two cats are due (overdue) for their shots. We got the notification that they were due a week before surgery and I knew I wouldn't have time to get them in. Then one cat developed a cough (lovely). I had surgery and have been home but the majority of my friends work during the day. Why does this matter you ask? My cats are FAT and over my 10 pound weight limit! So how the heck am I going to get them in their little carry cages and into the car???? Well luckily one of my closest friends does shift work and is going to come over tomorrow to crate up the cats and put them in the car (although she hates cats and would rather just let them loose). When I made the appointment I asked the vet tech if someone there could help me and they said yes. So tomorrow Lindsy will get them ready, the vet tech will help me with them there, and then when we get home I'm going to close the garage, open the crates and hope I can shew them into the house!

It's weird things like this that make restrictions difficult! I'm doing well without lifting the kids and have that figured out but weird random things keep popping up. 4 more weeks of restrictions and then back to a normal life!

It's weird. It all seems so surreal. It feels like the initial surgery was a lifetime ago and that the exchange surgery was months ago. Today marked two weeks since surgery and since I am doing so well it doesn't seem real. My chest has no pain, looks normal, etc. I feel pretty good minus getting tired easily and still have some intermittent pain down my arm. My bruising from the lipo has been improving and that pain is lessening. In a few short weeks I'll be back to life, off restrictions, and moving forward.

I think about all that's happened in my life and realize that I am way stronger than I ever imagined and more than I give myself credit for. I have been through a lot and need to remind myself of that now and again. I try to live life to the fullest. To cherish every moment. To do special things with my kids, my husband, and my family. I am very much aware of the severity of everything I have been through. Beating Ewings Sarcoma twice is a miracle in itself. Then having melanoma insitu and pre-cervical cancer. I still feel blessed. I have had many more close calls that have all turned out benign. Last year I was blessed with the opportunity to reduce my risk and extend my life. I believe that although God will watch over me, he also gives us tools that we have a say in choosing. Anytime he has put a choice for a cure in front of me, I have taken it even knowing there may be risks with the choice. When I had Ewings, he gave me the option of a bone marrow transplant which at that time was experimental for my type of cancer. The doctors talked to me (16 y/o) about living wills, risks of complications including death and my family and I proceeded trusting that I would make it through. Even though I had long term complications and side effects that have impacted my life. I am here. I am healthy. I am living an amazing life. 
Last year he gave me the opportunity to have surgery to prevent breast, ovarian, cervical, and uterine cancer. After knowing my risk there was no way I couldn't take the risk and have surgery. I had to do it not only for myself but for my family, for my kids. 

I feel immensely blessed.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Back to work!

Ugh, 2 weeks has gone by really fast! On one hand it feels like surgery was forever ago and on the other hand I can't believe I am already going back to work.

I had talked to many others who have had this surgery (talked to may be a strong word, read blogs, posted on forums, etc), and many were back within a week of having surgery and I didn't know how they did it. What I've figured out though is that the exchange surgery was cake! It was easy, everything was already stretched and ready so it was a quick recovery. I could have gone back right away as well. BUT the liposuction part...eek! Not as quick recovery especially since they had to dig and scrape to get any fat. I'm sure if you had regular lipo and had fat to get rid of that it probably wouldn't be that bad but when you don't have much to get it takes them so elbow work to get some out!

So I'll be heading back to work tomorrow for half days through Tuesday. Tuesday I get my abdominal binder off so then will reassess to see if I am ready to do full days yet or not.

I feel great but also haven't been doing much so we'll see how it goes when I actually have to do something!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Doing Well!

Its been a week and a half since surgery and I am doing great! I can't believe that I feel this good this quickly. I have been having some pain that radiates down my right arm but they think that its being irritated by the stitches that are inside at the top of the implant. The stitches will dissolve so that should take care of that. I am also still having some pain on my right side where the liposuction for fat grafting was done. In one week on next Tuesday I can stop wearing my abdominal binder which will be a HUGE relief. It is tight and uncomfortable and makes wearing real clothes difficult.

Other than that I really have no issues! My endurance is much better and I even went on a little hike with my hubby and kids this weekend! My eyes are pretty much back to normal but being on the computer for long amounts of time seems to strain them and give me headaches from straining so I'll wait another week or two and then possibly go get my eyes checked (I haven't had an eye exam for a long time and used to wear glasses so probably should get them checked anyway).

I talked to employee health and hopefully will be going back to work for half days Thursday and Friday but need to recall tomorrow to make sure I am ready. When the Dr initially told me prior to surgery two weeks off I didn't believe I would be feeling this good! If I over do it I still get tired but am doing really well!

The kids are doing really well. Addy still is a little hesitant that we can't do EVERYTHING that we had been doing so we've done a couple little special outings. The main thing I can't do is lift them so things like being at a playground with monkey bars that she wants me to lift her up to is hard for her.

The house is a disaster! I can't lift or do repetitive motion type things so laundry is out, scrubbing is out, etc. So once I can lift again our house is going to need a deep clean!

Thank you to all of you who have helped out, made a meal, sent a gift card, sent a card or email, and for those who have been checking in. It means the world to me to know that I have so much support!